We’ve all been there. We all fell for someone who gave us mixed signals at best. Sometimes he tells you he likes you, but at other time he’ll treat you as if you are nothing better than an acquaintance for him. In other cases, it’s the breakup you thought would never happen – with the love of your life, the one man you thought you’d spend your life with. See, here’s the thing. Getting over someone might seem painful now, but it’s a lot LESS painful than holding on to someone that was never there in the first place.
How to Get Over Someone
Don't bottle up your emotions
Today, we’re inundated with ads, books, movies and TV series, all of which tell us that it is NOT okay to feel bad. And if you do feel bad, here, take a pill and go back to your life as if nothing ever happened. But that’s not how things should be. You should be allowed to grieve; it’s part of the healing process of getting over someone. But here’s the thing…
Don’t wallow
There is a big difference between venting your emotions and wallowing. If you’re constantly a sobbing mess, or if you simply can’t shut up about how heartbroken you are and how bad your ex is for dumping you, then that isn’t grieving. Remember – shit happens. Get over it, instead of whining about it like a 14-year-old child.
Better early than late
Trust that if this happened to you, it happened for a reason. It’s good to break up now than to break up after 10 years of marriage and 2 children. Wouldn’t that be much tougher for you? At least now you get to start over without having to worry about what your kids will think. Always bear this in mind when working on how to get over someone.
Reword it
Words have power, whether you believe it or not. Reword negative sentences into positive ones; it has a psychological impact on you and you will gradually start seeing life as half full instead of half empty. Here’s an example. Instead of saying, "He wasted 2 years of my life." say “I’m glad it was only 2 years, not 20. Whew! Dodged a bullet there.”
Don’t lie to yourself
It is incredibly easy to lie to yourself and say that you’re over that someone. But guess what? If you have to constantly reassure yourself of this, then you most probably aren’t over him or her.
Stop cyberstalking
Thinking of how to get over someone? Begin by removing him or her everywhere from your digital life – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and whatever other platforms you two are friend on. In fact, I’d say go ahead and block him. That’ll take away the temptation of checking up on his or her profile every now and then. Why? Because every time you see him or her happy with someone else, you’ll die a little on the inside. And you don’t want that, do you?
Closure is a myth
Thanks a lot, Hollywood. There’s no such thing as closure where you have a perfect closing-of-the-book moment, after which your heart will feel lighter than before, encouraging you to move on. No. You move on when YOU decide to move on.
Be cut-throat when it comes to contact
I.E. Break off all contact with him. And if you don’t believe this, go ahead and consult any relationship advisor out there. With the exception of a few, an overwhelming majority will tell you never to go back to your ex, because that’s the equivalent of a sober man having his first drink after one month of being sober. Yes, it’s difficult. But you have to do it to heal that pain and be happy again.
Don’t bother “changing”
You don’t have to fit someone else’s idea of perfect. Don’t think that changing yourself into what he pictures as a perfect girl will help you win him back. It won’t. Because after all those changes you’re not your true self. So how to get over someone? Just be who you are and live your life to the fullest.
Don't use the guilt trick
Alright, maybe once or twice is okay. But guilting someone into being a relationship with you is not the way to go. Know why? Because it’s fucking unhealthy. You two should be together because you WANT to be with each other, not because one is guilted into doing this!
There are plenty more fish in the sea
Once you’re in a relationship with someone or have a crush on someone, you believe they’re the best person in the world and you turn a blind eye. And that’s okay. BUT if you’re doing it even after he has made it clear he doesn’t want to be with you, you’re digging your own grave.
So what’s the solution? Start hanging out with friends, making new friends, saying "yes" to other dating opportunities that comes your way.
You're unique and worth more than this
Always remember this: your worth is not tied to another person, especially not a man. No. You’re much better than that! Doesn’t matter if you’re contemplating how to get over someone or are facing a midlife crisis – this point will always stand in any and every phase of your life.
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