How to Irritate a Girl

Assume you know her

You don’t. She’s a complex human being, just like every man out there. Just because you’re aware of every sexist notion about girls doesn’t mean you know this one girl as well. The only way to know her is to gain her trust and become a good friend of hers, which you obviously aren’t.

Not reply to her messages

Especially after you’ve read them. If you have time to read them, you have time to respond to them. Sure, once in a while is okay because everybody’s busy, but if you have a constant habit of ignoring her texts or replying very late to them, know that you’ve probably irritated her.

Ask her if she’s hormonal/on her period

Guess what. Every person on the planet is hormonal, but is every hormonal person cranky, bitchy, angry or mad at you? No. Accept that maybe you did or said something that pissed her off, instead of calling her hormonal and shrugging of the issue. This is literally the quickest way of how to irritate a girl.

Compliment just her physical assets

Why? Is she nothing more than a piece of meat to you? A woman has depth – she has intelligence, she has compassion, she has passion and she has strength. And if you’re not able to see all that in her, then yeah you’re going to piss her off sooner or later.

Cancel plans too often

She has a life too, you know. And you can’t keep cancelling your plans with her like this. You will irritate her, and an irritated woman is not something you would ever want to deal with.

Give vague responses

For example, when she asks, "When are you free to hang out next time?" then a response like "I’ll let you know" does not fly. Again – you forget she also has a life and keeping her on hold like that is annoying as hell.

Not tell her how you feel for her

Just why? Especially if she has told you how she feels. Keeping her hanging is not the way to go. Also, if she asks you the status of your relationship, be honest with her. How long do you think you can keep her quiet? How long do you think it will take her to realize that “keeping it casual” is as far as you will go?

Mix getting rejected with being friendzoned

When you confess your feelings to a girl and she doesn’t like you, you’re not friendzoned. You’re REJECTED. Friend zone is when a woman keeps a man on hold, making him do all the things a boyfriend would do for his girl, except getting any sex.

Question her about her male friends

Wow. How original. This definitely should be put on the list of things about how to irritate a girl. You do not trust the intentions of her male friends because men are like that (and not because you’re not a stereotyping jerk). But how does that give you the right to question her judgement of her male friends? She trusts them, and if they haven’t given you any reasons to be suspicious of them, why should you not trust them too?

Not to mention that even if they do make a move on her, you should have enough faith in her that she won’t cheat on you. Because if you don’t trust her, what are you even doing in a relationship with her?

“I don’t care”: At least make an effort to show some interest in what she’s sharing with you.

Grow adolescent moustaches: This is nothing against facial hair, but a peach fuzz isn’t exactly what a woman looks for in a MAN.

Joblessness: There’s nothing wrong in being in between jobs, but if you have been “in between” for the last 2 years, you know you’ve been irritating her for the last 2 years.

Compare her with an ex: Why would you even do that? She’s unique and she deserves to be appreciated for that.

Constantly talk about sex: Apart from being one of the great ways on how to irritate a girl, you also end up turning her off you forever.

Be clingy: She doesn’t like you, so take the hint. Stop stalking her on social media or real life, because when was the last time a stalker got together with his victim?

Act like an “alpha”: Remember, she wants a friend/partner, and not a leader.

Be sexist and then laugh it off as a “joke”.

Not understand the word “no”: No means no. Period.

Wear ugly clothes: Ugh. She would never want to be seen in public with you.

“I respect you because you’re a woman”: Wrong answer. You should respect her because she’s a human being, not because she has a vagina.

Call her strong opinions as “being a bitch”: No. When a man has strong opinions, he’s seen as a leader, but if a woman has the same opinions, she’s seen as being difficult or a bitch. Enough with the double standards!

Comment on her weight: She knows. Don’t push it.

Be a messy person: No, it’s not adorable. Nobody likes a slob, no matter how charming he is.

Look at her breasts when you’re talking to her: This needs no explanation.

Not participate in activities with her because they’re too feminine. Wow. Really?