Most of us want exes out of our lives once the relationship is over, unless there are kids involved. But there are some guys who keep in touch with their exes, especially if the girl was not the one who ended the relationship. What if the guy you are dating right now remained friends with his ex, should you step back? Or there is nothing to worry about?
Should I Keep in Touch an ex? Learn from Others
From a straight married guy
“I had an ex whom I cheated on 10 years ago. Just a few days ago, I received a friend request from her on Facebook. I was not interested in staying in touch with an ex, but because I was curious how she had been doing, I accepted the friend request and just continued to post what I wanted to on my wall. I unintentionally revealed on my posts that I’m getting married and moving out of the country, I didn’t hear anything from her since then. You see, an old flame will not reach out just to say hi.”
From a gay single guy
“For me, the only reason why I should get in touch with my ex is because I might have been infected with STD. In my opinion, there are three reasons why exes keep in touch. First, they are in misery and want to convince themselves that once someone was attracted to them; second, they want some affection; and third, they are simple horny. All of these reasons are wrong. That is why for me, keeping in touch with an ex is just so wrong.”
From a straight single guy
“When my new relationship fails, I try to contact my exes to reassure myself that there are other girls out there who think I am awesome. It really helps me get my confidence back and think that it was not my loss but hers because she broke up with me. Another reason why I stay in touch with an ex is because she knows how to make me feel better when I’m down, heartbroken or even when I’m just bored.”
Craig, 29
“I believe in keeping my options open that is why I keep in touch with an ex, because I’ll never know when an old flame sparks again. I do this even if I am dating someone new, not unless the breakup was really degrading for me.”
Henry, 31
“Who said that keeping in touch with an ex is wrong? I remained friends with two of my exes and my girlfriend already met them. I always manage to remain friends with an ex and it is fine with my current girlfriend. It just makes me think that she’s awesome and makes me love her more.”
Hanks, 25
“There was this girl in college who liked the idea of us getting together even if I was dating other girls. I never stopped seeing her because our qualities jive well. It was a little weird though.”
Tommy, 35
“I used to keep in touch with different girls but then I realized one day that I was dwelling on my past. And so I decided to avoid them and removed any form of communication we might have. They never noticed, but it was a big deal for me.”
Dean
"I had a girlfriend when I was in high school and we remained good friends. Keeping in touch with an ex is not bad. That ex of mine was someone I could call on to when I needed a girl’s point of view. “
Rules to Follow When Keeping in Touch with Your Ex
Give it time
Everything happens for a reason, even breakups. Let time heal your broken heart. Don’t just date random guys or girls with the intention of forgetting your past relationship. You’ll just hurt yourself even more.
Go out with your ex in groups
It is best to not go out with your ex with just the two of you alone. Ask some friends to go with you. Then maybe after a few years, you may disregard this rule.
Befriend the new girlfriend
It helps if your ex’s new partner is awesome; if you plan to keep in touch with an ex, befriend his girlfriend or her boyfriend too. This is not only a sign of wanting her or him to be your friend too but also a gesture of respecting their relationship.
Have an agreement
You might want to have an agreement with your ex and try to talk things over if you feel that you still love each other.
Forget the past
Stop remembering your sweet memories as this will only make you miss your ex more. Also, don’t think about bad memories as this will only bring you bad vibes.
Do not flirt
An ex is an ex. Stop flirting. Don’t be touchy when you are around your ex and going to bed with your ex is just a no-no.
Avoid social media
You don’t have to unfriend your exes in social media, but it is best to unfollow them and keep them off from your news feed.
Exert effort
Keeping in touch with an ex does not only mean befriending your old flame. It also means putting an effort in keeping in touch with his family who are also important to you.
Be picky
You can remain friends with your exes but you may also eliminate those who gave you too much heartache. Like, why should you keep in touch with those you had a fight with when you were still together? You don’t have to make all things work.
Do not judge
Stand back from your ex’s new relationship. No matter how much you dislike his new girlfriend or her new boyfriend, refrain from talking bad about this new partner.
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