Why Can't I Keep a Relationship?

You demand love but don’t share it

We get into relationships by having certain expectations from our partners. Like, he’ll take me to the movies, we’ll go hiking together, we’ll go to dates at elegant places, etc. Here, you’re being demanding because you expect your partner to love you and shower you with his time, money, energy, etc., without offering him something equal in return. Or perhaps, you’re just a very needy person who takes and takes, but never gives much in a relationship.

Either way, that needs to change. Share your love with him; don’t demand his love from him. You’ll immediately see a different world in your relationship.

You’re inconsistent

"Why can't I keep a relationship?" Maybe because you’re inconsistent. This is mostly found in girls, due to how society stereotypes girls. For example, yes means no, no means maybe, maybe means God knows what. Just stop this, will you? It’s not cute when you keep him guessing. It’s not cute when you play games with him and make him guess what’s really on your mind. He’s not a mind reader. Say what you mean, mean what you say. As simple as that.

You think you’re ugly

In all probability, you’re just unattractive, which is good for you because you can work on that. Never confuse ugly with attractive. Pretty girls can be unattractive (because of poor table manners, shoddy dressing sense, no personal hygiene, etc.) and plain girls can be attractive (because of a sweet temperament, patience, being respectful, etc.). See the difference?

Try becoming a more attractive person – dress well, work on your manners and personality, modulate your voice pitch, or simply improve your taste. You don’t have to rely on your looks to appeal to your partner, so work on whatever you can.

A dysfunctional family can be the culprit

Maybe the answer to your future lies in your past. Sometimes the answers to questions like “Why can't I keep a relationship?” lie in your family and your upbringing. There’s no denying that children learn about relationships first from their parents. And if your parents had a dysfunctional relationship with each other, then that could heavily alter how you view relationships. For example, neglectful parents raise needy or apathetic children, while controlling parents may raise children who find decision making very tough. With the passage of time, such emotions simply strengthen themselves within children, which in turn manifest themselves in their children’s adult relationships.

You can’t let go

Now this can be your past, your emotions for someone who hurt you, your inability to move forward with things... And this very inability is what pisses off your partners. It’s time to make a change, because nobody else is going to make it for you.

Ego

I can say hands down that ego is one of the most important reasons why relationships end so often today. It’s your ego that disallows you from moving forward in a relationship because you tell yourself things like "If he’s not making the effort, then why should I?" You get the picture, right? But here’s the thing. If you’re constantly putting yourself and your needs before your partner's, you’re a selfish person who deserves to be alone.

You firmly believe in “Accept me for who I am”

Accepting you as you are is one thing, but making your problems his is an entirely different issue. Also, never use this phrase as an excuse for being a tardy, unhygienic, unfaithful bitch. There are some flaws which can be accepted and there are others that are simply intolerable.

Porn has ruined your expectations

"Why can't I keep a relationship?" Well, because of porn! There’s no denying how “perfect” porn stars are. Everything is big because the bigger, the better. Porn drastically alters the expectations we have from our partners. What’s worse is how easily porn is available to children, making those young minds exposed to such unrealistic body expectations and “goals”. As a result of this, many people have reported to struggle with sexual satisfaction and sexual dysfunction.

You’re addicted to love

You’re scared of being single. This can be due to several reasons, like the fact that you’re a needy person, or because your addiction arises from the way your parents brought you up. Either way, you will rush into relationships just to avoid being alone and in this case genuine intimacy may become very difficult for you. You end up being drawn to people who cannot be in long-term relationships for one reason or another, like commitment issues, emotionally unavailable, etc. And in the end, your relationship is a sham based on nothing but sex.

You should begin by not being so desperate for love. You know you can love yourself too, right? Begin with that. Because once you love yourself, your standard in men will raise automatically.