The notion of dating a single mom is a cringe worthy affair for many men. Many men view single moms as baggage and this is why they shy away from dating them. On the flip side, there are men who love dating single moms. The only problem is that their tried and tested dating rules don’t apply in this scenario. Most single mothers have been hurt by men before and are often very cautious about who they bring into their lives, considering that they also have kids. If you have fallen for a single mom or are dating one, then here are some tips on winning a single mother’s heart back and make your love thriving.
How to Win a Single Mother's Heart
Get to the point
Don't dilly dally. Be clear about what you want from the get go. Most single moms aren’t looking to walk down the aisle with the next prince charming that crosses their path. If you’re in it for sex, let her know well in advance. This might be what she is looking for too. If you're in it for a long-term relationship, let her know and use action to prove your determination. Tell her what your intentions are to avoid heartache for the both of you. Avoid leading her on or wasting her time. Winning a single mother's heart back requires honesty.
Give Them Space
Single moms are ever busy. They often have to get up early, prepare for work and get their kids ready for school. They work throughout the day, and have to get back home in time to make dinner and help the kids with their homework. On most days, they are awfully tired by the time they get into bed late into the night. For this reason, they might not take kindly someone trying to smother them and vie for their attention. Give them space to do what they have to do.
Don’t Play Games
Don’t
play mind games. She doesn’t have time to sit and wonder whether you
will call. She has too much on her hands, so such games won’t work with
her. Be an adult about it and return her calls and text messages instead
of making a waiting contest out of it. If you like her, be honest and
let her know. You don’t have to go back and forth for weeks just to
establish this.
You Won’t Be Their First Priority
Winning
a single mother’s heart back, who has been hurt before and is busy to support her life, won’t be easy as you have to accept the
fact that you’re not first in her list of priorities. She might not
even be in the mood for a serious committed relationship, and most
definitely don’t need someone calling them all the time or hanging around them constantly. You’ll only come off as desperate and
needy. This is a huge turn off for a single mother because she has too much to
do.
The Kids Come First
Understand that her kids come first. You will have to cancel countless dates because her child may be unwell or she can't get a babysitter for the day. You should be compassionate enough to understand her situation. The fact that her kids come first doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. It’s just that her priority is her kids. That being said, she should also make time for your relationship and let you know when she’s not available and why.
Tell Her Your Plans Ahead
Single moms usually have their day planned out to the last minute. Spontaneity is not their thing. Forget about calling her for an unplanned date in the middle of the day. If you want to plan a special date or trip, let her know well in advance so that she can plan ahead.
Let Her Talk About Her Kids
She could be a sexy single mom but that doesn’t mean she won’t bring up her kids during conversation. Get used to talking about the daily mundane of raising kids and doing chores. That’s just the way she’s packaged. You can’t do much about this. If you don’t want to play a part in her kids’ lives or listen to endless stories about them, you’re better off not dating a single mom.
Date Night with the Family
One important thing in winning a single mother's heart back is to win the kids' heart. If your relationship has grown to a point where you are ready to meet the kids, you should suggest a date night with the family. Your first meeting with the kids should be short and sweet. Make the day all about the kids. The goal is to endear yourself to them. You can go out for ice cream, to watch a movie or to a park. The kids will fall in love with their mom’s super cool new friend. During the date, avoid getting too affectionate with the mom. You don’t want to come off as a threatening interloper.
Get a Babysitter
After
you start dating a single mom, you will realize that the biggest
obstacle to your dating life is childcare. If you can’t spend quality
time together because she can’t get a regular babysitter to stay with
the kids, you can offer to help. Perhaps you can get one of your younger
siblings to step in or you might suggest someone you trust within your
circles. You can also check out some of the online babysitting services
such as sittercity.com and care.com. Do this for her and you’ll be her
knight in shining amour.
Pamper Her
Single moms are always busy chasing after one thing or the other. For this reason, they hardly make time for themselves. If you can plan a getaway for the both of you where she can unwind without thinking of the kids (tough luck) or work, then you are well on your way of winning a single mother’s heart back to the world of romance and love.
Don’t Interfere in Her Parenting
You can easily be tempted into expressing your thoughts about her parenting skills. Steer clear off this murky topic. It is not your place to push your child-rearing wisdom down her throat. You can make suggestions when she asks, but no more than that. She should be free to choose whether to follow your advice or not.
Flexibility Is Important
Don’t be too fixated on times and dates for doing things together. Plans can change in a heartbeat when dating a single mom. Don’t take a cancelled date personally. Reschedule it to another time when it’s convenient. You don’t expect her to leave an ailing child in the house alone when you have planned to go out on a date. Weekends can be particularly tricky for her, so plan for a midweek lunch instead of weekend dinner. Make a point of learning her schedule so you can plan accordingly.
Her Ex May Be Still Around
If
you’re dating a single mom, then you need to accept the fact that she’s
still in contact with her ex. The ex could be playing an active role in
raising the kids, so you’ll have run-ins quite often. It is best to keep
your opinions about her ex to yourself. You can listen to her
complaints about him but do not chip in.
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