How to Deal With an Immature Boyfriend

Know You Can’t Change Him

You have to acknowledge the fact that he won’t change no matter how much you prod him and point out his immaturity. If it doesn’t come from him, you’re flogging a dead horse. Emotionally immature people tend to blame everyone and everything for their bad behavior rather than admit to being wrong. The only thing you can control is how you react to them.

Evaluate Your Relationship Honestly

Do you see yourself settling down with this man or do you just love the sex and the occasional laughs? While it might be fun being around him, he may not be the ideal partner to settle down and start a family with. Do not set yourself up for failure by thinking that he will eventually change after nagging him for a few years.

Immature man can easily turn into an irresponsible man who only thinks about himself and having fun. Dating an irresponsible man is hard work. You don’t want to get caught up in a long term relationship with one. It will only drain you and leave you feeling used and abused. Don’t try to get pregnant hoping that he’ll shape up when the baby comes. What you see is what you get.

Talk to Him

If your boyfriend is open to hearing feedback, then you should take time and talk to him about his problem. This is one important way of how to deal with an immature boyfriend. Expect him to get defensive. If he gets to a point where you can’t get your message across, you can ask him to talk to a counselor or someone he respects. Highlight the specific habits that tick you off. For example, you can tell him that you wish he takes more responsibility around the house and asks him to help you out.

Be Assertive

An emotionally immature boyfriend will be self-centered and manipulative. It is, therefore, important to be assertive when you’re communicating with him. This doesn’t mean you become aggressive or overbearing – just be clear about what you need while being respectful. But bear in mind that he may not react in a mature way.

Don’t Try to Beat Him at His Own Game

Don’t try to prove a point by being immature yourself. You will only be playing a loser’s game. If he can’t see things from your point of view and refuses to change his behavior, then you might want to consider breaking up with him. It might jolt him into reality or save you from an irredeemably immature boyfriend.

Don’t Make Excuses for Him

Want to know how to deal with an immature boyfriend? Do not make excuses for his bad behaviors. He will only take advantage of your “kindness”. Do not try to get him out of sticky situations that he gets himself into. Don’t be his mum. He’s a grown man and he should be able to handle any situation he gets himself into. Trying to save him will only legitimize his immaturity and encourage more bad behaviors.

Be Patient

If your boyfriend does accept to make changes in his life, then you both need to make a commitment and support each other through the process. Change is not easy, but it can be done with the right mind set and effort. You should be patient with him as he won’t suddenly turn into a goody-two-shoes. Work on one thing at a time as he can’t change everything at a go. Start with the behavior that’s causing most problems.

Enjoy Each Other’s Company

It’s a relationship, not a therapy session. Do the stuff that couples do instead of focusing all your time and energy on trying to make your boyfriend more responsible. Have as much fun as you can together. This will help make the reform process more bearable for the both of you. You also won’t come off as a nagging and controlling partner.

Don’t Try to Be a Hero

It’s easy to get drawn into becoming your boyfriend’s savior. However, this will only make you frustrated. Try to develop interests outside of your relationship and do not focus too much on making him the perfect boyfriend. It might never happen. Have one or two friends you can trust and share with them what you’re going through. They will encourage you during the tough times.

Seek Help

If, after trying to resolve the issues, you still aren’t making progress, it is probably best to seek the services of a professional. A counselor will be able to understand the problem and provide you with the tools required to fix it. Always bear in mind that when everything else fails, a great counselor is your best shot of finding out how to deal with an immature boyfriend.