Do you feel too shy and coy when he's anywhere near? Can't find the courage to be yourself with him? Your shyness syndrome may be rooted in your mental barriers and some social awkwardness that comes with inexperience. If you make your first steps in having a romantic affair, use the following sea-changing tactics to overcome any inner obstacles and find out how to not be shy around your boyfriend.
Step 1: Overcome the Mental Barrier
Find out the reason of your shyness
Look at yourself in the mirror closely and work out what makes you feel shy in the first place. Is it some slight skin problems or your weight? Is it that desire to look just like a magazine cover celebrity? If your appearance makes you insecure, consult your close friends and your mom - they are always the first people to confirm or deny your self-allegations.
Encourage yourself with real testimonials
If your shyness is caused by your insecurity that's not related to your appearance, collect all your acknowledgements and testimonials that other people - teachers, tutors, and friends - have ever left you, and put them all up in some visible spot so that you can see them every day and remind yourself of how good you actually are.
Let your favorite music help
When approaching the next date with your boyfriend, treat yourself to your favorite music that will surely help you relax and brace yourself. It's fine to look for some other relaxation techniques like walking long distances or doing yoga.
Rehearse your conversations
If you are curious about how to not be shy around your boyfriend and sound as natural as possible, try to rehearse a few conversation starters before you meet. These could be questions about his life, or some witty lines about how your day goes so far.
Don't pretend to be someone else
If you decide to act as if you have some traits that you actually don't, then that would be one of the worst techniques ever. Don't let any lies, however insignificant, to intrude in your affair but stay sincere. This is the key if you want him to relate to the real you, not some superficial made-up personality you are not.
Get him talking about his feelings
Stop wondering what he thinks about you and ask this upfront! It takes a bit of courage, but ultimately you will find it much more helpful to get his first-hand feedback and adjust your behavior accordingly. Also, it would be a nice excuse to talk about your insecurities. Now that he has an idea of it, you will be able to overcome your shyness together!
Don't underestimate yourself
In any circumstances, don't underestimate how truly incredible you are. If you need more people or situations to remind you of it, get them. If you and your boyfriend have already started your relationship, it's a decent victory, isn't it? Now there's really nothing left to worry about.
Step 2: Change the Way You Behave
Let him help
Be open about your insecurity and anxiety right from the start. If he's your first boyfriend, disclose your lack of experience and let him take the lead rather than keeping silent about the real reasons of your detachedness.
Don't be afraid of your vulnerability
We are not all born mighty and dangerous, you know? It's fine to state it clearly and offer him to become the one to battle your vulnerability, not to make it grow. He is likely to be encouraged and flattered with this opportunity, so all you will have to do then is just leave him room for cooperation.
Let yourself grow fonder of him
Let yourself grow fonder of him
Explore your unknown territories together
If you trust him, and we believe you do, open up to him and let him explore new exciting territories with you. If this is his first experience of a kind too, you will learn how to rely on each other and become ever more confident as your relationship develops.
Ask him to take you out of your comfort zone
In the process of learning to trust him, try something frenetic together - like going for an adventure or taking up some activity that would require you to express yourself in a completely new way. Try taking up dance lessons in pairs, or working out in a gym together to get closer physically.
Learn to make eye contact
Shyness often implies a reserved body language. To learn how to not be shy around your boyfriend is to learn how to communicate with him non-verbally and be open about your body moves and posture in his presence. This includes making a direct eye contact and not averting your eyes when he looks up. If your look gets a bit suggestive, that's even better - keep it playful!
Don't avoid touches
Touching him occasionally during your casual small talk is a sign you feel safe and secure. It also signals that you are ready to get closer and bring more intimacy into your relationship. When it is his touches, react just the same - staying open and showing him with your body language or facial expressions that you enjoy it.
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