11 Ways to Piss Someone Off on Text If You Need To

The Grammar Nazi

Let’s be honest – most of us hate Grammar Nazis (GN) more than actual Nazis. If you don’t know who a GN is, Urban Dictionary describes them as:

A person who uses proper grammar at all times, esp. online in emails, chat-rooms, instant messages and web-board posts; a proponent of grammatical correctness. Often one who spells correctly as well.

So go on ahead and be a complete dick. Correct people’s grammar every chance you get. Go a step further (if you dare to) and make fun of their grammar. You’ll have them irritated in no time.

Caps Lock

ISN’T IT IRRITATING WHEN SOMEONE TALKS TO YOU TYPING ALL IN CAPSLOCK?

That’s because your brain automatically perceives words typed in Caps as the equivalent of someone shouting at you. And nobody likes being shouted at, even if it’s virtually. Shift to Caps Lock from time to time, and blame it on your phone’s keypad, which conveniently is too expensive to get repaired.

Be Over Expressive

Feel the extremes of the entire spectrum of human emotions if you really want to know how to piss someone off on text. Don’t like something, love it. Don’t dislike something, hate it. Exaggerate your emotions, express more than you feel and basically treat that person as your emotional toilet. They’re sure to distance themselves from you sooner than later.

Expect Instant Replies

The moment your text shows “read”, push them to reply, even if they’re in the middle of typing their reply to you. And when they tell you that they couldn’t reply instantly because they were typing, make fun of their typing speed. If they take a while to read/reply to your texts, then try...

Double Texting

If they’ve read your message (or even not read it) send them messages time and again, reminding them to reply. Keep doing that every few minutes. It’s easily one of the best ways on how to piss someone off on text. The cherry on top of the cake can be:

Typing

Like

This

Isn’t it annoying when that one friend of yours, the one who is incapable of typing out his thoughts in one sentence like the average adult can, sends you multiple notifications because of the love affair he has with his “enter” key? Use his tactic to annoy the person you wanna annoy. Send them 20-30 notifications in one go, so much so that they’re forced to either switch their phone to Silent mode, or to block you completely. You can also try to...

Type Lyk Dis

Especially if the person you’re talking to is someone who prefers using proper grammar. Not only is such “internet” lingo childish and immature, reflecting badly on you, but it’s a massive eye sore for those who take out the time to type out their sentences with proper structure, punctuations and formatting.

Forget to Reply

And do it regularly. When it comes to how to piss someone off on text, nothing hurts people’s egos than having their messages being kept on “read”. It shows that you read the message, but didn’t have enough courtesy to inform them that you’re too busy to respond later. I mean, how much time does it take to type “brb” or “ttyl”? And when they confront, come up with lame ass excuses like

“Oh, someone came at the door and I forgot to check my phone after that.”

“I had been meaning to reply, but another friend texted me with this juicy piece of gossip and I totally couldn’t help myself from talking to her.”

They are sure to get the hint sooner or later.

Write Stories

Treat your text bubble as the new and improved Twitter – with a 280 word limit. And then go ahead and type, type, type and type. The thing is, people today have a lot less patience than people did maybe 10 years ago. We live in an age of instant gratification and if we don’t get it, we get irritated instead. Plus, reading so much of text requires quite a bit of time and dedication, especially if you’re expecting an equally long enough reply.

Group Chats

Keep adding them to nonsensical group chats that will give them unnecessary notifications. Unless and until they’re the kinda person who actually enjoys this kinda attention, you’ll end up irritating the fuck outta them.

The King of Emoji

If your friend’s the kinda person who gets annoyed with internet lingo, then they’re also the kinda person to get really pissed off with emojis. And I don’t mean when you use them when actually required – I mean you using them:

1. Unnecessarily. Adding 10 emojis to every sentence you type.

2. Using emojis as a substitute to communicate with that person.

This is one of the quickest ways on how to piss someone off on text without being too obvious about it.

LOL LMAO LMFAO etc. etc.

This is just like using emojis, except you use abbreviations even when they’re not needed. Example:

“Hey. I just woke up lol. Whatchu upto? LOL.”

“Man, I dunno what 2 do lol. U tell me man lmaoooooooooooo.”