How to Talk to an Old Crush

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The first thing you should do is to have a reality check. It’s been so many years since you two last met. So before fantasizing a relationship with your old flame, check the facts. Get the newest information about your old crush and figure out how you feel about him or her now. 

Start slow

How to talk to an old crush? Simply say hi and start the conversation, simple as that. But don't be aggressive and too passionate and don't jump immediately to the fact that you had a crush on him or her once no matter you’ve gotten over it or not. Have some small talk, get nostalgic and gradually move to topics about current status, like single or taken, current job, new hobbies.......

Spouses should be involved

Yes you’ve been friends since high school and you even had a crush on him or her, but you haven’t seen each other for decades. If one or both of you are married, involve the spouse(s) as a sign of respect to each other’s marriage. 

Ask questions

How to talk to an old crush? Do it by telling something about yourself first and then start asking questions. Don’t expect the person to be the same person you met ten years ago. People change. Treat the conversation like meeting a familiar stranger.

Don’t take things personally

When you try to contact an old flame, you don’t know what is happening with his or her life in that moment. Don’t get offended if that person doesn’t want to meet or doesn’t respond. It is not about you.

Don’t dwell on the past

It feels good to rekindle the past but make sure to jump to the present timely. This is a sure way of enjoying the moment, discovering something new about the person and seizing the opportunity in making new friendships or even relationships.

Go to her resort

If you know her whereabouts, you may want to visit those places for a chance of seeing her. 

• You know that she visits this Thai restaurant every Monday, try dining in that restaurant on Monday. 

• If you have common friends, attend occasions which you think she will attend, but don’t prioritize meeting her. Enjoy the occasion with your friends first so that if she doesn’t come, you will still have a great time.

Use social media

Another way on how to talk to an old crush is through social media. Start by liking his or her posts or retweeting his or her tweets. But don’t go overboard because you may look like a stalker or someone creepy. 

Just choose one or two of his or her posts which you truly like and put an interval when liking. You may also start commenting on his or her posts in a way that's not showing your feelings too obviously. You can also post thoughts which you think will catch his or her attention. By doing this, you will send the message that you still exist and are around. 

Text her

You may also want to test the waters by sending texts, but how to talk to an old crush via texts and what to talk about. Here is an example. Try asking if she watched the new sequel of a movie which you both loved. 

• If she answers you in a friendly manner, keep the communication going and match your messages with hers. If the conversation has been going smoothly for some time, then you may subtly ask her out.

• But do not send the same text repeated or send texts too frequently. Besides, if she only replies a single sentence after two hours of your text, read between the lines.