She Just Wants to Be Friends

The Nature of the Problem

To be honest, when she says “just friends”, she implies that you are not in her dating plans. As much as the truth hurts, this is how she feels. In other words, she wants you to know that she feels brotherly love for you. She is saying, “talk to me, but stay away from my body!” She likes your company, likes to chat with you and she could even share stories about the men in her life.

Don’t deceive yourself that she might be a little bit interested. Actually, most men assume it’s a sign that she needs more time to decide. But when she tells you blankly that she just wants to be your friends, she is not interested in you.

So, what golden rule should you remember? If she compares you to her brother, relatives, or friends, it’s clear she does not like you. Worse still, if she says, “…not in that way, I'm not sure, or I'm not ready…”, think twice. She might even say her focus is on something else like career or business. If she stammers and hesitates every time you bring up the topic of you being more than friends, that’s a danger sign! Stop wasting your time!

The Major Problem Behind This

Often before a man approaches a woman, they become friends first. By the time the man shows interests of taking the relationship further, the woman hesitates because of doubt. Sometimes it is because the relationship seems too casual for romance.

The man is the determinant factor as to whether the relationship matures to intimacy or not. If he doesn’t make her fall in love from the start, she will be comfortable with just being friends. Make her fall in love from the start, so you will not face the awkward situation of "she just wants to be friends".

It is common to find a man resisting the urge to ask a girl out after they have been just friends. This is because most of the men are afraid of being disappointed. It is better to hide the feelings and retain the relationship than to lose it all.

Men who tend to have only one close female friend may suffer from this kind of rejection. However, men who have more women as friends worry less because they feel more secure.

Don’t Stalk Her

A number of women are attracted to men who play hard to get. Don’t be too obvious with your intentions. You can capture her attention by staying away. Give her the impression that you are not after her love as you strategize on how to make her fall in love.

Improve Yourself

Having confidence is a huge advantage. When she says no, do not lose hope. Don’t let it make you uncomfortable; just because she said no doesn’t mean you can’t continue being friends. If she is not interested, explore the possibility of having a relationship elsewhere. If you still like her, work on yourself, but don’t be too aggressive with her. Who knows, she might fall for you later, but by no means don’t lose the friendship just because she rejected you.

Change Your Look

Consider having a new look that is more appealing. You can get advice from male and female friends on the new appearance. This includes grooming, clothing and hairstyle.

Strategize

If she says she just wants to be friends, stay calm and play along. Get back together as friends and avoid any topics about being lovers. Give her space to reflect as you plan your next move.

Get Into Her Circles

Find out who her friends are and mingle. If you can manage to befriend her girlfriends and gain popularity, your chances are higher. Make them laugh, have a good time and get close to all of them without making any moves. Make some good comments about her in front of her friends and watch! You may be surprised that she might change her mind. However, if she doesn’t, accept your fate and move on. It’s not a matter of life and death.

Change Your Approach

It is not easy to ask someone out if that person has rejected you before. What answer did she give you for not being interested? It is possible that she was not serious when she said it. Gain back the friendship, but be patient with her. Gain back the confidence and ask her out again. Do something interesting together, but respect her decision if she insists that she just wants to be friends.